It’s nothing but a roller coaster … the ups, downs, straightaways, loops, twists and turns. And sometimes it’s hard to believe that there are millions going through the same things or very similar things as you are at the very same moment. I’ve gotten so much better on my journey in how I react and respond to the things thrown at me. At this stage of life – it’s all about the reset.

So, teaching is a hard job. Like seriously hard. No, I’m not soliciting pity. What I am doing is just sharing what teachers are having to deal with in the classrooms on a regular, daily and on-going basis. If everyone had to substitute in a classroom for a couple of days, they’d understand it. Really, really, really understand. No, seriously. No joke. No lie. For real. As in for real, real.

Then you have some leaders who say things like this, “Please leave your personal lives, feelings and things you’re going through at home when you come to work.” I have one of these types of leaders in my life. She thinks that things that I’m going through, experiencing or dealing with should just be neatly packed away from 7.00 am – 3.00 pm daily. Why? I cannot answer the why because I’m no robot and it does not bloody compute.

You see, there’s a mentality in education and quite frankly, in corporate America as well that is absurd and insane . The idea, hands-down, is that they are okay with working people to the brink of a complete and utter breakdown whilst not paying you what you absolutely are owed nor treating you like a human being. The leadership of schools and corporate America is so indoctrinated that they are experts in making you feel like everything is your fault. I can tell you that in education, those not in the trenches have no clue about the clientele we deal with – students and their parents. If we set up a clue stand and sold clues, they’d still have no clue.

I say all of this to say this … I put my health on hold for the sake of my students. I am fortunate that the biopsy came back today and the bone tumour is benign. Word of the day: BENIGN (n) – A growth that is not cancer. So, add that to my plate along with my parents having COVID back in early January, losing my teaching partner – who I miss and am really having a hard time with her not being next door and then having the knowledge of a possible battle ahead – it has been “in the bed by 7.00 pm on school nights exhausting.”

A really important piece of advice from my friend John, “Bryce you are 100% replaceable at work, but you’re not to those who love you.” So, I’ll be taking some time away from my classroom – when needed – after I have this little plum-sized ball of nothing removed from the top of my tibia. And I’ve decided that journaling, blogging – whatever you wanna call this – is good for me because I get things out of my head!

So, what’s something I do to reset? It’s pretty simple … I watch Schitt$ Creek for the bajillioneth time. If you’ve never watched it … get to it! It’s on HULU now and it’s hysterical!

And I watch Katy sing one of my favourites …

Cause baby, you’re a firework …

Thanks for listening … reading — well, you know.

A Bunch of Randomness.

Sometimes, you just don’t have a single thought or plan about what you want to blog about, but eventually it all comes out and usually it’s just a big bunch of randomness. Here’s hoping you don’t fall asleep reading this entry …

So, last week was a hard week. My teaching partner’s last day was on Friday, but I wasn’t able to be there because of a standing doctors appointment. So, our hard ‘goodbye’ was on Thursday. When you teach 5th grade – you have to accept the fact that some people just opt out because of the intensity of that age group.

That was not the case with Lindsey – she was able to finally realise her dream job … and I couldn’t be happier for her + her girls! I think I’m starting to have abandonment issues, but I just cannot see myself teaching any other grade level. It’s safe to say that I’m grieving this ‘loss’ — it’s hard when you lose the people you bond with at school and it will take some time for me to get used to her not being next door.

I’ve been watching a couple of my favourite mystery shows … Miss Scarlet & The Duke on PBS and Vera on BritBox. It’s very rare that I don’t like British murder/mystery shows and these are two of the best! Miss Scarlet is in its Series 3 run — it’s mostly what I would call spot on for the time frame it depicts (1870s London), but some of the forensics they talk about weren’t really a thing until the late 1950s — so, that’s its only flaw.

And then there’s Vera. I stumbled upon this series when it was on Netflix and immediately fell in love with the Ann Cleeves character played by Brenda Blethyn. She’s frumpy, sarcastic and pushy at times! The series has moved from Netflix to AcornTV and now to BritBox (BBC and iTV). We had to wait almost a year and a half for the current series because of the pandemic, but it was worth it!

Often, as I work on my blog, I listen to music … it helps me think. Today, I’m listening to a CD from my way distant past (1998) — it’s a collection of songs from various artists …

1What’s Going On – Cindi Lauper
2Heaven’s What I Feel – Gloria Estefan
3Together Again – Janet Jackson
4Frozen – Madonna
5Kiss The Rain – Billie Myers
6Whatever You Want – Taylor Dayne
7You’re Still The One – Rochelle
8My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme From Titanic) – Deja Vu
9How Do I Live – Debra Michaels
10Carry On – Donna Summer & Giorgio Morodor
11Something To Believe In – Linda Eder
12Never Letting Go – Elsa Raven
13Here We Go Again – Aretha Franklin
14Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot – Sting
15Hopelessly Devoted To You – Ava Cherry
16Could It Be Magic – Barry Manilow

I have been packing for my impending move in April and came across it in my CD collection … it’s an awesome collection of songs and artists that we don’t hear from too often anymore. My favourite track is from Sting — it’s called LET YOUR SOUL BE YOUR PILOT

Just let your soul, be your pilot
Let your soul guide you
He’ll guide you well …

Let your pain, be my sorrow
Let your tears, be my tears too
Let your courage, be my model
That the north you’ll find
That the north you’ll find, will be true
Let your soul be your guide …

Artist: Sting Songwriter: Gordon Matthew Sumner

Often, we tend to ignore our auto-pilot system when we go through a traumatic experience, losing someone – whether it be death or them moving on and we allow it to get the better of us. I’m trying to really embrace this situation and just push forward. For now, I’m in survival mode and I’m trusting my soul pilot.

So, are you still awake? Like I said at the start … a bunch of randomness. But sometimes being random isn’t such a bad thing, right? Hoping everyone has a great week!


… and sometimes.

I’ve been busy on the site, at work and sleeping. So many things have been going on at school and the hardest is losing my teaching partner, Lindsey. She is realising her dream job at weeks end and I am truly happy over the moon, but it is bittersweet.

The solution to her leaving is adding half her students to my class and the other half to our other teaching partner who has been self-contained all year (nightmare and to top that – she’s a first year teacher!).

My anxiety had been relatively under control this school year; however, it’s upped itself with this coming change and I’m hoping I survive it.I tend to have a myriad of responses to “life-changing” events at work — I tend to get very quiet and put my head down to move forward.

I’d say my overwhelming response this time has been to go into survival mode. I’ve counted the days left (yep, it’s way too early for that, but …) of the school year and I’ve made it perfect clear that I’m going to do my best — going from 19 students to 28 — with this major change.

What, exactly, does that mean? It means: I cannot do more than I’ve been doing (which is actually above and beyond) and I will not compromise my peace of mind because of these changes.

I’m sure that sounds selfish; however, if you are or have ever been a classroom teacher to 10 and 11-year-olds … you definitely get it. And whether people like it or not – it is what it is and sometimes, you have to take care of yourself.

How have I been doing that? Working on my site, contemplating how to journal more everyday, sleeping a little more than usual, playing with my puppies above what I normally do, trying new recipes and watching shows that make me laugh … Schitt$ Creek, The Golden Girls, Will & Grace and New Girl.

And … breathing.